This is a serious topic and I intend to not take it lightly. We all have had loved ones suffer from horrible diseases and dementia and Alzheimer’s are tragic and heartbreaking for the sufferers and those that are close to them.
When writing stories with characters that have these diseases (or any ailment) aim to be careful and kind with how you handle them.
1. Regrets about things forgotten
I once read a story of a father who suffered from dementia. His regret on his deathbed was that he had not been a good father and that he wished he had reconnected with his daughter and changed that.
His nurse revealed that he had reconnected with his daughter over the years and she visited him often. He had forgotten it. The nurse explained that she couldn’t get him to understand that he had reconnected with her and made their relationship better even in his last days.
2. Flashbacks
My great grandfather had Alzheimer’s. They say he would have flashbacks of being in war.
He would suddenly jump over the couch and duck down and tell my father, “we gotta get outta here!” believing he was back on the battlefield.
Another story of a man who suffered from Alzheimer’s was a survivor of the Jewish holocaust.
Most nights he would wake up in terror believing soldiers were pursuing him. It had become a weekly routine for the caretaker to get up in the middle of the night and stop the man from unscrewing his window and escaping out into the night.
It seems that with sufferers of Alzheimer’s the flashbacks are closely related to traumatic events.
3. Sharing the same story over and over
My other Great Grandfather suffered from Alzheimer’s as well.
He asked my brother and me if we knew that he had a mule growing up. He would then tell us about how he and his brother would ride the mule all over the farm.
Then a few minutes later he would ask the same question and share the same story. This happened repeatedly as he forgot he had shared the story moments ago.
6 Tips How to Write Dementia and Alzheimer’s
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4. Forgetting loved ones
There are many sad stories about people asking “Who are you?” to their children, grandchildren, and spouses.
Some family members have even avoided going and seeing them dreading to hear them ask that very same question, “Who are you?” Or “Do I know you?”
Something to take into account when writing these situations is the loved ones and how they react. Not just the sufferers. People have literally said of the ones suffering from these diseases, “It’s like they are already gone. It’s like we’ve already lost them.”
I can even quote someone here saying “Treasure the memories and be thankful for the time you still have with them, but that first time they ask who you are will hurt, because you realize they just aren’t that same person.”
Another saddening but true quote to get further insight,
“I am scared to face her because I don’t want to hear “Who are you?” I feel like I lost something precious in my life. She took care of me when I was a teenager and for me, she was like a lighthouse on a stormy night.”
5. Redirection
Those suffering from dementia can be easily set off in anger but some can be easily directed to happier thoughts.
One daughter learned to bring her mother a milkshake and this would make her happy and in a jolly mood.
They learned not to ask the question “how are you?” As it was an instant trigger of anger. Other people would try to get her to deal with things and remember things like her husband’s passing, but her daughter learned to redirect her mother’s thoughts to keep her happy in her last days.
The daughter said, “I personally would have redirected till the cows came home because my mom is not going to remember.”
6. Repeated daily conversations
There’s a story of a mother and daughter who suffered together in the same home.
It is actually said that they often treated each other like strangers and daily reintroduce themselves and get to know one another all over again.
One granddaughter shared a story of her Grandmother.
It seems that she was her main caretaker. Her Grandmother would ask about every 15 minutes, “Who are you?” Or some other form of the question:
“Do we know each other?”
“Are you visiting someone?”
“We are not related, are we?”
“Hello, have we met each other before?”
The Granddaughter handled this well and looked for different ways to better answer her as her Grandmother often forgot she even had a daughter.
Stories like these are not uncommon for those that suffer from Alzheimer’s and Dementia and those that care for them and love them.
I hope these thoughts and stories will help you think through a meaningful story with characters that deal with these real to life circumstances.
I hope this helps!
(A special thank you to those who were willing to share their stories publicly online for people to read and learn from and be encouraged by. By sharing our stories we help make the world a better place.)
We welcome your stories here 🙂
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How to Write a Story That Helps Readers Know “It’s Okay to Not Be Okay”
1. Don’t Dumb Down Hard Topics
In Patrick Ness’ “A Monster Calls” we have a great example to follow. Patrick does not shy away from talking about hard things and aspiring writers shouldn’t either.
Being vulnerable and upfront, especially in writing, will help the reader more than tiptoeing around hard issues that they really want to talk about.
Don’t water down the nitty gritty and the hard things to talk about. As readers that’s why we pick up “sad books.” We want to see the raw emotion. We want to feel something. We want to cry.
Make it raw and emotional and readers will love you for it.
2. Write Characters that have Flaws and Can’t Avoid Them
“Flawed” doesn’t have to be a bad word. And “perfect” doesn’t have to be the best word.
In the broken world we live in, the reality is, I have my flaws and you have yours.
Being a perfectionist for a good period of my life, I know what it is to obsess with trying to be perfect at everything and then finding a gaping hole in your soul at the end when it doesn’t all work out.
It’s more important to be okay with not being perfect and okay with working hard to get better at the important things.
So it should be with our characters when we’re writing stories to let others know it’s okay to have flaws! We all have them, and we’re all working hard to do our best in spite of them.
Readers want to see raw emotions. Readers want to see our characters choke back tears. Readers want to be the fly on the wall to see our character run up to their room and slam their fists at their door until it goes through it.
Readers want to see heartbreak, because these are real things we go through in life and we don’t want to feel alone.
That’s the main point when writing stories like these.
We don’t want to feel alone and our reader doesn’t want to feel alone.
Keep that in mind when creating your characters and the conflicts they are about to go through.
3. Write From Your Own Tragic Moments
A moment ago I wrote, “Readers want to be the fly on the wall to see our character run up to their room screaming and crying and slamming their fists at their door until it goes through it.”
That’s me. That’s a real moment from my childhood. Nobody is perfect and nobody’s life is perfect. And if you are able, write tragic moments into your stories that you truly felt, because those are the moments that will truly resonate with your readers and give them something real to let them know they’re not alone.
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4. Write About Outcasts that Find Happiness Even in the Hardest Circumstances
In, “A Little Princess,” we follow our protagonist through a miserable existence but somehow they find happiness anyway.
When we are struggling, we want to see resolution in the end even if the circumstances don’t change for the better, because oftentimes our circumstances that make us feel lonely or sad haven’t changed and won’t change.
5. Write Characters that are Isolated and Alone
It’s like wanting to listen to sad music when you’re sad. Readers that feel lonely want to read about lonely characters.
If we cry while reading your story it’s all the better.
6. Make it Easy to Read
Nina LaCour’s “We Are Okay,” is a great study for this type of writing.
It captures this feeling of sadness beautifully and I’d be shocked if you don’t tear up several times reading it.
It’s so easy to read, you could probably read it in a day if you really wanted to.
7. Don’t Forget to Throw in a Few Good Twists
“Anxious People” by Fredrick Backman is good for this.
You can study how he makes his characters flawed but still lovable (it’s extremely important to make them still lovable with their flaws: A Man Called Ove is another great example) and is able to throw in a few good twists before the end to help the reader stay engaged and curious.
I hope this helps!
Happy writing!
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When someone tells you they have written a story or book almost instantly you might say something like, “Cool! What is it about?”
This is the major reason for having a theme, but what is theme?
Understanding an author’s theme can be paramount to understanding why the author wrote it. Knowing the theme is not totally necessary for enjoying the story first hand, but it may give the book layers that become fascinating for readers and turn them into fans.
The theme may come with ideas like ‘man’s inhumanity to man’ or ‘love’s fatal betrayal’ or ‘environment’ or ‘self-sacrifice and redemption.’ It could be any big broad idea that the writer cares about and wants to share within the context of their story.
If your story does not have this overarching major idea then at some point the reader may become bored with your story and move on.
Definition of Theme
The simplest definition of theme is this:
“Theme is defined as a main idea or an underlying meaning of a literary work, which may be stated directly or indirectly.” – Source
Don’t Confuse the Theme with the subject. It can be easy to do.
How to separate the Subject from the Theme:
“Subject is a topic that acts as a foundation for a literary work, while a theme is an opinion expressed on the subject.” – Source
For example: The subject of your story may be romance and young love, but your theme may be the opinion that “it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all” – Thank you Shakespeare.
So be sure not to get these two muddled up or it could become confusing for yourself and your reader what you are trying to accomplish.
How do we as a writer come up with our theme?
What is Theme?
Coming up with a theme and themes does not have to be difficult. I would venture to say that we personally must have a vested interest in the theme.
A vested interest means we care about the topic. We want to see how it plays out for ourselves. And we want our reader to see the problem and how we have thought through it and the conclusion we came to.
The reader does not have to agree with our opinion of the theme, but we do want them to think about it in a similar pattern that we have.
You may have personally experienced heartbreak in your life. This might lead you to write a tragic love story that eventually ends in death, turmoil, or breakup. The theme you may be thinking might be something like, “All love ends in heartache.”
On the reverse you may have experienced heartache, but you still believe in love so you write a story about love and romance. In the end they breakup but it’s for the best because they weren’t meant for each other and their true love is still out there. Your theme might be that, “love is still worth the heartache.”
Again no one reading your story has to agree with you in order to enjoy your story, but discovering your background to the inspiration of your story later on will show them the depth of your thoughts and give your story more power to cause emotions in the reader.
So my best advice about finding a theme for your story is to find it in real life. It doesn’t have to personally be your life. It could be a story your family member or friend went through. You could find inspiration from talking to a stranger on a plane.
Where the story comes from is not as important as how you write it and the theme you derive from it. Try to find your theme and try to make sure it is one that you are at least somewhat passionate about or you might lose interest after writing 100 pages.
Major and Minor Themes
Themes can be broad and general and they can also be small and detailed. This can make a difference between major and minor themes.
Your major theme might be “man’s inhumanity to man.” Thus in your book your main problem would deal with this theme and it would be repeated throughout the story as the major dealt with the problem and theme.
In a story where your major theme is “man’s inhumanity to man” your minor themes might be that “good still exists,” “one person’s decisions affect many,” and “you reap what you so.”
You can see how these minor themes will easily coexist in a story with our major theme.
What is Theme?
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What is Theme?
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There are a million ways to go about relaying our theme to our reader. So you as the writer get to be creative about how you want to share your theme with your audience.
Some ways to try to show your theme:
Have your character say it in dialogue.
It will bleed through your story.
The feelings of the main character.
The thoughts of the main character.
The circumstances characters find themselves in.
The major climax.
The resolution.
Conversations of multiple characters.
Laws of the land.
Actions in the plot.
Events in the plot.
Reactions of characters to their given circumstance.
What they say in response to being faced with the truth of the theme.
Etc.
An example might be that your character is headed to the grocery store minding their own business when they get pulled over and the officer tells them to get out of the car for no perceivable reason.
Your character might say something like, “This is ridiculous. There is no reason I should get out of my car.” This in effect is you creating a scenario where you showed the reader that the circumstance the character finds herself seems unfair and then when she voices that it is ridiculous it solidifies the truth that something is wrong here.
Now if the officer searches the car and finds drugs then you may have justified the officer’s actions in the reader’s mind. The minor theme might be that “all people are hiding something.”
On the other hand you may have the innocent woman hauled off to jail for absolutely nothing and have maybe stated a minor theme that “the police are corrupt.”
So you may write these stories with intent of expressing themes like this or you may even create them without meaning to. What we know for certain is that themes do exist and you should do your best to create them and present them creatively and thoughtfully within your narrative.
You can always very simply explain your theme in a letter or note to the reader in the preface or end of the book if you feel that they will get more depth out of it or will enjoy reading more knowing why you wrote it and what you are trying to show.
What’s the Point of the Theme?
The simple point of thinking about themes and doing the extra work of creating them and weaving them into your story is to communicate ideas through your story.
You may want the reader to understand how you view the world. Or you might want them to understand the pain you felt going through a tragic event. You might want the world to understand the pain of a certain group of individuals and thus you create a story that speaks to and addresses their plight.
Whatever your reason is for your theme it may work in your favor to use one because this may arouse more interest in the reader or other potential readers when they discover your theme.
Examples
Let’s rap about some themes that can be seen in stories to help you see how it is done and dealt with.
In the Harry Potter books we overwhelmingly see a theme that “love is more powerful than evil.”
Rowling draws this to our attention when Voldemort tries to kill Harry but because his mother sacrificed herself for him a magical protection was cast over Harry that made it that Tom Riddle couldn’t touch Harry.
In this theme you can also surmise that Rowling’s deep beliefs about her characters and their story was that “love is more important than a lust for power.”
Another good example would be Lord of the Flies. Golding taught young boys and also fought in WWII. These two life experiences led him to believe that evil was obviously something man produced, thus he wrote Lord of the Flies where young boys were put on an island to prove that man no matter the age apart from learning evil will act out in evil and selfishness.
In many stories like Underwater, we see a major theme of messing with nature. In Underwater they were greedy and drilled too deep into the earth on the bottom of the sea. Because of this they unearthed very deadly creatures and there was no turning back.
Many vigilante stories such as the Punisher are themed around revenge. In many revenge stories we eventually see that the writer wants to see that revenge is not the answer and usually our character learns that the hard way, but in Ocean’s Eleven revenge is seen by the writer as sweet and justified as Danny Ocean is the one that gets his revenge, the girl, and is seen driving off into the sunset to “live happily ever after.”
Conclusion for What is Theme?
What is Theme?
Themes can help us as writers place deeper meaning into our writing. This can either make the story richer or take away from it. Hopefully it will be more meaningful to our reader and they will enjoy knowing what we wrote the story.
Hope this helps!
Happy Writing!
P.S.
What is Theme?
Personal opinion that you may do with what you will: even though themes might be important for literature class and the great study of classic literature, I am personally very much of the opinion and inspiration that if someone is to endeavor writing a story it should for the most part be for the enjoyment and entertainment of others. Not for a “secret message” that is supposed to persuade the reader into the writer’s opinion.
I agree that themes can often make a story more interesting and that would tell me that it was a good story and a good theme or at least an interesting one.
I do not think that a writer will do justice to the story if they cut corners and try to tell their message over the actual telling of a good story.
So in short, make the story good and if you want to put minor themes into it purposefully then do well at making them weave in seamlessly. There is nothing worse than a forced agenda to ruin a perfectly good story.
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Have you read or seen enough about heroes to notice that there are repeating themes and patterns? Have you noticed certain arcs? Have you wondered what are the common steps that can be laid out to help you write your hero’s journey?
Well, Joseph Campbell did and he made a pretty famous analysis of the hero’s journey and this post will hopefully help you think through that and be able to summarize it for yourself.
My recommendation would not be to use these verbatim but to allow them to guide you, help you, and inspire your hero’s story. Your hero doesn’t have to have every step in their story.
The Common Steps of the Hero’s Journey:
“The Ordinary World”
You can take time to let your reader see the ordinary life of the hero. Allow them to see their family and friends. An ordinary day in the life of the soon to be hero.
Let your reader see into their ordinary world and this will make them be able to relate to them and start to like them.
This will help when you start to introduce conflicts to the hero’s journey. The reader will care more about how it ends then if they didn’t have this knowledge.
Allow your reader to see their character. Allow them to see flaws and certain mannerisms that only those that spend time with them would know. Allow your hero to be multi-dimensional.
Creating the ordinary life will create a meaningful and delightful contrast for the interesting turn of the story.
When you do start to introduce conflict it normally takes characters and readers out of “the ordinary world.”
“Central Dramatic Question”
Call it the major conflict or a major theme, the hero’s journey needs to have a major question.
The major question drives the hero further into the unknown. It drives the hero into more and more misadventure and it needs to be answered in the end.
“The Call to Adventure”
The step of the hero’s journey known as the call to adventure will interrupt the hero’s ordinary life. This is the problem or challenge that comes in front of the hero and must be resolved. If the call isn’t answered you have to make the stakes high enough to interest your reader. IF the hero fails, really bad things need to happen.
Sometimes a mentor type character can introduce the call to adventure.
Example would be the Hobbit. Gandalf shows up and recruits Bilbo to be the burglar for the dwarves.
This step in the hero’s journey can take many forms. So it is up to you what you want to be your main conflict to be. What genre you’re writing in and the setting in which you are writing can be a big determiner in what your call to adventure becomes.
“Refusal of the Call”
At first the hero can have conflicting feelings and want to refuse the adventure. In the Hobbit Bilbo at first just wants to keep his ordinary comfortable life.
It doesn’t always happen this way though, because some heroes’ challenges or conflicts are unrefusable.
If someone the hero loves is in life-threatening danger the hero may not have a choice. But some soon to be heroes have a choice whether or not they want to go on an adventure. Giving them the choice gives you the opportunity to reveal internal conflicts in your hero. Internal conflicts are interesting for character development.
The internal conflicts a character deals with allows the reader to get to know them in a more relatable sense.
Even if the hero doesn’t have any refusal of the adventure, the hero’s friends and family can show concern and reveal the dangers and risks involved in the hero’s journey.
If the journey isn’t perilous enough the reader won’t care to go along.
“Meeting the Mentor”
The hero can meet the mentor and the mentor can tell them about the adventure. The hero can meet the mentor along the journey, or the hero can meet the mentor and the mentor can drag them along on the journey.
In Disney’s the Sword and the Stone we see Merlin the mentor drag young King Arthur through his hero’s journey.
We watch Merlin take Arthur through each step seemingly whether he wants to or not.
Not all heroes have or need a mentor, but they can be helpful to more than just the hero. Mentors help make a multidimensional story for your reader to enjoy. It gives extra personalities for the reader to see and be engaged in.
Not every hero needs a mentor, but it is a very common feature in famous stories (Chronicles of Narnia, The Sword in the Stone, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, etc.)
The mentor is someone with experience. The hero will sometimes seek them out to find the experience they were lacking in order to be able to journey further or to take the journey at all.
“Crossing the Threshold”
Thus far your hero may have been introduced to the journey and rejected at first, but may have come back around to it. They may have even sought out help from a mentor to help them get the courage to take on the hero’s journey but with help.
If they have done all this they may be “Crossing the Threshold” which just means, they are now ready and fully committed to the hero’s journey and have accepted their calling and mission to venture into mysterious, perilous worlds unknown to them with guarantee of danger and no guarantee of return.
This means he is ready to leave the comforts of home and the life he once knew. To “cross the threshold” could literally signify there is no going back after this. She or he could be thinking “this is my last chance to say no to the hero’s journey. Bilbo was probably thinking, “I still have time to go back to the shire and start up my pipe.” But once our hero goes a certain way we as writers have to make the way shut behind them. This can happen several times in a story.
In the fellowship of the Ring, the fellowship wanders to the mines of Moria. They decide only a little too late to leave the mines and go another way when the monster in the lake collapses the way out. This can be seen as a crossing the threshold moment when our heroes stepped inside the mine they didn’t know there would be no turning back, but Tolkien did. He made sure of it.
You must find creative ways of doing this for your heroes. You have to find ways to give them no way to turn back decisions that bear weight of risk for the characters and thus the reader.
Are they jumping from a plane?
Are they stepping into an unknown portal?
Are they jumping into unknown waters?
Many thresholds are unknown to the heroes. When a crew of underwater divers takes an elevator down into the depths of an ocean complex, little did they know, but they would never take that elevator back up again. In a week that elevator would be sinking into the dark abyss.
There are many ways to create thresholds and your reader doesn’t have to know right away that your character is stepping through one, but you need to know and use it to create more risk and suspense for your reader to appreciate.
“Tests, Allies, and Enemies”
After the hero crosses the threshold into the new and unknown reality of the hero’s journey they have to get to know their new reality. Along the way they run into challenges, make new friends, and encounter the enemy or multiple enemies.
This is the time where you can continue to contrast the heroes old life to their new reality.
This new reality could be a new love or a new direction in life. This doesn’t just apply to demographics and other worlds. This new reality can be as simple as breaking up from a toxic relationship and our character moving on with the hopeful new adventure of true love.
Get creative and figure out ways to make the contrasts of their new reality clear and weighty.
Their new reality needs to be so different that tests are expected and allies are necessary. If the new environment isn’t risky then allies are needed. Make them needed. Don’t add allies just to have allies.
In their new reality enemies should be a part of their new reality. The reader should be waiting with anticipation for enemies to rear their ugly or beautiful heads (not every enemy is gross and dripping with green slime.) Some of the best ones are hidden in a shroud of beauty.
In many cases allies are earned not given, but this isn’t always true. Hercules was given Pegasus and Alladin was given Abu, but Katniss had to earn the respect of many of her allies through the hunger games. All of these allies are compelling and necessary, but they were acquired in different ways.
Allies and enemies can be tricky. In this allies can turn out to be truly enemies and enemies can turn out to be allies. Allies and enemies are good places to include twists and turns for the reader.
Some characters that start out as allies end up betraying the hero, and some characters that start as enemies end up helping the hero in the end. It is up to you to decide what fate the hero follows.
Challenges come in many forms.
Challenges can present themselves in the form of enemies and even the earning of allies. They can also be hard paths with much conflict for the hero. There may be many challenges for the hero on the hero’s journey. Challenges usually tie into the plot seamlessly and carry the reader along to the main challenge or the climax of the story.
“Approach the Inmost Cave”
The hero now makes their way to their toughest challenge yet. If they succeed, their ultimate goal is realized if they fail it is the ultimate failure. The ultimate failure might mean that this hero’s journey was always a tragedy. The ultimate success means a resolution for the hero and reader.
For the hero to truly approach the inmost cave they need to have completed their preparations. The battle plans must be laid out. Or the map must be looked at to see the exact place and time to entire the lair of the dragon.
The team has to be healed and ready for the ultimate battle.
Sometimes the hero and their team can come to the place of the inmost cave slightly unprepared and they can lose at first. Which means they weren’t really ready to face their most dangerous or most climactic challenge.
This can leave the audience confused and tricked, but in your story it could just be an unexpected twist.
The approach to the inmost cave is supposed to be the moment right before the hero’s greatest challenge and the end of their quest. They either end in victory or defeat, but whatever happens it is bringing the hero’s journey to an end. You can decide how they must prepare and if they are prepared enough to defeat their ultimate challenge and end their quest.
This ultimately leads them to their climatic moment.
“The Ordeal”
This is where the hero must face his most difficult challenge. She must see her foe for who they are and confront them head on. In the ordeal our hero must face their greatest fear and overcome it.
Their greatest fear could be many things.
They could face the evil dragon. They may face the serial killer they have been investigating. Their foe may be their evil father or step mother. Maybe their best friend stole their lover and must finally be confronted. This is the ordeal.
In this step the hero faces near or certain failure or destruction. If you have set up your story well, this is where the stakes will be the highest. Failure means the hero’s journey has failed and the ultimate bad ending has occurred.
In this climactic moment, the reader isn’t sure whether the hero will come out successful on the other side. It is the greatest and most threatening challenge they will face on our journey with them. They may need the help of an ally or they may have to endure the death of an ally before the final end.
The Hero’s Journey
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The Hero’s Journey
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The hero has met their greatest challenge and has conquered it. Now they receive their great reward.
They have achieved hero status or have gained the respect and love of their life.
The Reward is about conquering their greatest fears and coming out the other end to a victorious reward. That reward could be anything. It could be gold, silver, and precious jewels. It could be a status such as “King,” “Conqueror,” “CEO,” “President,” Etc.
The reward could be a love she or he has fought for and won or finally achieved. It could be as simple as becoming the most popular kid in school or as complicated as achieving King status.
It could be very little. The little boy finds his lost puppy. It could be very large. The commander wins the 10 year war.
Something to be noted. I do not think that the reward means the heroine has completed the journey unscathed or unchanged. To continue on normal life in light of the journey they have been on will be a task that should carry weight.
“The Road Back”
The hero must commit to finding their way back to the normalcy of life in the newly achieved world.
Bilbo goes back to the shire. Harry takes his kids to the train for their first ride to Hogwarts. These are small examples of the road back.
Some would argue that this step is a re-engagement with choosing to struggle through the climax and make it through to the resolution, but I would venture against that.
If done the way other authors illustrate this step the hero will readdress the main central question. They will be thrust into the final climax. They will be forced to defeat their greatest villain or conflict. The villain may have taken the reward or treasure and the heroine must confront them in a final moment where the stakes are the highest.
They either succeed and win or they fail and suffer the greatest consequence. Their loved ones could also suffer the greatest consequence.
If this is a tragedy then may fail.
“The Resurrection”
The resurrection can be that the hero has faced the utmost challenge and come out on the other side. She takes the skills she has learned on the heroine’s journey and uses them to defeat the villain.
She faces death first hand and survives. Her brush with death or the ultimate climax has caused her to change and be resurrected.
The resurrection can represent a cleansing for the hero or purification and transformation of life and character. This plays a major role in the hero’s character development. The Hero is transformed. He or she can be seen as a person that slightly maintains their old self but is resurrected into a new person that combines their old self with the new person they have become.
The resurrection represents that the hero has accepted their self-sacrifice in order to save the world. The world could refer to loved ones or the actual world, but in many stories, the hero is almost always asked to sacrifice self before they can truly be recognized as a hero.
Self-sacrifice is the only true way to show heroism. To sacrifice self when caring for others is the way the hero gains hero status.
Other allies can assist in this moment but sometimes it’s best to let the Hero stand alone. The Hero standing alone can make the stakes seem higher and the resolution be sweeter.
“Return with the Elixir”
The return with the elixir is the final moments of the hero’s journey.
The hero has completed the ultimate task and dealt with the major defining question. The hero has conquered their quest and is returning with the ultimate elixir that will solve the problems and deal with the major problem that the world has been facing.
The hero shares the elixir with the world. The elixir is the answer to the hero’s problems and everyone’s problems.
Sometimes the elixir is just for the hero and their family, but sometimes the elixir is for a nation or the entire world.
If the entire world is under an evil curse from a witch that makes it a frozen wasteland and the hero defeats the witch and summer finally comes, the elixir is the healing of the land.
Bilbo comes back with the ring and other valuables. Harry comes back with peace. The star-crossed lovers are reunited. It can even just be the experience of surviving the journey. It could be the rescue and return of a loved one. The elixir can heal physical, emotional, or spiritual wounds.
It represents a time of victory and rejoicing. Even if the hero comes to a tragic end the world is saved and the hero’s sacrifice is not in vain. It can be a victory celebration or a wedding celebration.
It can be a family being reunited after years of tragedy. The amount of people in the celebration is not the point as much as the richness of the celebration itself.
The elixir means that the journey is coming to a close and the world of the hero is again at peace. The elixir means that the world is back in balance and the hero and their kin can get back to living a peaceful life in their new normal world.
The hero is now free to live in their new life forever changed by the hero’s journey.
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This resource is from Reedsy.com and we thought it was too cool for school.
Image nearly endless writing prompts. The writing inspiration from this tool alone is epic, even excluding their other awesome generators.
“Plot Generator”
“1 million plot combinations to inspire you. Generate a random plot for your genre. Simply pick between fantasy, romance, sci-fi, mystery, or drama — and click the button below to get started. Like a particular story combo? “Lock” and save it to nail it down.” – reedsy.com
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“Character Name Generator”
“Kickstart your story with this random name generator that has 1,000,000+ good names to inspire you. Sort using filters such as language, gender, and fantasy — and even discover the meaning behind your favorites. Each name is computer-generated and we encourage you to do further research on naming traditions and meanings for your exact region.” -Reedsy.com
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“Book Title Generator”
“10,000+ good book titles to inspire you. Generate a random story title that’s relevant to your genre. You can pick between fantasy, crime, mystery, romance, or sci-fi. Simply click the button below to get started.” – Reedsy.com
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In order to help you write a great covert narcissist, we should first define covert narcissism.
Most people know what a narcissist is and how you can identify one. A lot of people are full of themselves and more concerned about their own wants and desires than that of others, but some people are full-blown narcissists. They are always talking about themselves and their achievements. They will jump on every opportunity to tear others down and say mean things about them.
Their jealousy and malice know no bounds as they see no evil in being narcissistic. They love being the center of attention and are obsessed with looking for ways to be looked at and praised by others.
And let’s clear a myth here, just because someone is an extrovert and enjoys being the life of the party and enjoys being on stage and takes being the center of attention well doesn’t mean they are a narcissist. A narcissist has more signs than just that.
So what is a covert narcissist and why are they harder to identify than a regular narcissist?
Covert Narcissist VS Narcissist
What is a narcissist?
Narcissists are:
Vane
Overly self-interested
Sense of self-entitlement
The English word Narcissist comes from an ancient Greek story about Narcissus.
Narcissus fell in love with his own image and suffered ruin because of it. Is there any truth here? Perhaps, but it seems the story was used to teach against excessive self-love.
According to the 5th edition of the DSM psychologist are now calling obsessive narcissism a disease. (On a personal note I don’t believe this, but I am trying to lay out the current facts to help you write a good fictional character.)
The DSM-5 calls it NPD.
This type of person will be so self-absorbed and so atypical about their sense of self grandeur that they will almost uncontrollably be acting out in certain narcissistic behavior. They may not even be able to see or comprehend that they are doing it. Self-absorbed behaviors will be the main motives of the actions they take and the decisions they make. To characters around them, it might be extremely obvious, but in their own sense of self, they may be completely blind to it and find it normal that all people should act and think the way they do.
NPD has certain symptoms and traits:
What are some traits of Narcissism?
Extreme lack of empathy toward other characters (including family and friends)
No sense of remorse when exploiting others even if it hurts them (physically, financially, spiritually, emotionally)
The belief that everyone owes them something (you owe them for being able to exist next to them)
Extreme sense of being more special and unique than other characters
Obsessed with self beauty, power, success, well-being, preservation
Constantly desires admiration and craves acknowledgment for endeavors
Does not understand why others don’t see their special nature and can feel offended to an extreme degree if not admired
May over embellish their own success and accomplishments
May zone out often fantasizing about fame, influence, and potential
What are the symptoms of NPD?
Hard time forming normal relationships
Fictional view of self-importance over the importance of others
Hard time with empathy
The continual need for admiration from others without giving any genuine praise in return
Let’s clear up an obvious question. Is liking yourself and being comfortable in your own skin narcissism? No.
Someone can like themself and be comfortable with who they are without being overly self-loving. To be narcissistic would mean that a person would see themself as more important than others. Being completely self-indulgent.
They are not concerned if their actions hurt others as long as they get what they want, it is just a means to an end.
Does this mean that their self esteem is high?
No, not necessarily. An obsession with self can lead to low self-esteem if others do not constantly affirm their overly inflated view of self-worth.
What is an overt narcissist?
An overt narcissist is the opposite of a covert narcissist which can be described as someone whose obsession with self is seen outwardly and as an extrovert at being the center of attention at all times and sees anyone that gets more attention than them as enemies of their true purpose in life.
A stereotypical overt narcissist may be considered loud, obnoxious, and rude, but still craves unusual amounts of admiration. They will completely ignore naysayers and easily find followers in the crowd that will listen to their noise and praise them without question or rebuttal.
What is Covert Narcissism?
Covert narcissism is also known as vulnerable narcissism. It means the person has an obsessive need for admiration from others but suffers from a lack of empathy towards others. But a covert narcissist is harder to identify based on outward actions. Their key traits are subdued, understated, and are less evident or apparent.
The covert narcissist still lacks empathy and craves praise and approval at an extreme level. They lack the ability to control their own view of self-esteem.
This is why I say you should consider adding one to your story. Characters that are a certain way but are hard to identify easily make for interesting almost mysterious characters that need more time and problem-solving to figure out who they are and what their deal is.
A covert narcissist may come across as shy or introverted. They may exhibit self-depreciation behavior, but their end goal is the same as an overt narcissist. They want to be glorified. They may seek to make people feel bad for them to get attention and love. They may lie to get what they want.
They also may have a victim mentality.
The covert narcissist may say negative things about themself or constantly feel that they are “unlucky.” Their life is irregularly harder than anyone else’s. They alone have the worst circumstances to deal with.
It would not matter the amount of wealth or luxury they have in life. They still would find ways to be discontent with their circumstances.
Even though they think little of their circumstance, they still view themselves as the center of the universe. It is just that they feel the universe doesn’t realize their importance as they do.
Overt VS Covert Narcissist
Overts are easy to see from a mile away whereas the covert narcissists are harder to see coming. A covert narcissist is easier to be manipulated by and hurt before the character realizes what has occurred. Characters interacting with them that are unaware might become victims of abuse quickly and then are disregarded by the narcissist as soon as they are deemed ‘unuseful.’
In some cases, characters can be manipulated for long periods of time before they realize it. They could be married. It could be their ‘best’ friend. As long as the character has been useful or delightful to the covert narcissist then they are kept around, but as soon as they become ‘too much work’ or ‘undesirable’ they will likely be discarded even if the relationship has lasted many years.
Whether children are involved in the marriage or not is not important to the narcissist as they lack the ability to experience empathy as long as they are lost in their extreme self-love. Hurting others is not a thing they even consider. They are wholly concerned with what is best for them.
Let’s talk about signs of a covert narcissist:
They may be depressed
A covert narcissist is more likely to experience self-inflicted anxiety and depression about whatever they deem to be unfair about people not seeing them as important as they see themselves.
They have difficulty with keep relationships
They find it impossible to see that anyone could be as important as they are. This strains their relationships. They may be able to put forth extreme effort to gain a partner in a relationship, but with time the partner will most likely lose interest as they will discover the narcissistic behavior of the other.
Difficulty in work relationships
Very similar to romantic relationships they will have trouble building meaningful relationships with co-workers.
They will easily make fun of or dismiss their coworkers as inferior even if they are better workers. They will find excuses to believe that no one is better than them and thus they will inevitably push others away all while wanting them to like and adore them the way they adore themselves in their minds.
Extremely sensitive to criticism
Do not try to tell the covert narcissist that they aren’t doing it correctly. This will only lead to dangerous waters. A covert narcissist may not directly tell you that you have slighted them, but they may plot revenge none-the-less.
And that is the scary part about it. An extraverted narcissist might scream in your face and threaten you on the spot, but if you back down immediately they may feel justified and superior and leave you alone. Not so with the covert narcissist.
They will go away scheming your demise. Their vengeance will be felt.
Avoids social gatherings
Large social gatherings may be difficult for the covert narcissist. They may be too overwhelmed with what people think of them to function properly and thus be even more self-obsessed and upset about how their social interactions are failing.
In their minds, it’s better to know they are better than everyone else and not give anyone a chance to prove them wrong. “Who needs other people anyway!” They might think.
This can manifest itself in some sort of social anxiety.
A hushed sense of superiority
The covert narcissist may appear to be meek and humble, but in reality, they try to avoid situations that could make them look bad.
They may not be the strongest person in the room, but that is because “wasting time on strength training is for inferior beings. True strength is in the mind.”
In other words, they will make excuses for their weaknesses as if it doesn’t matter. They are no less in their own minds, they just build up excuses to justify why they are “not worried or concerned” about those areas of life.
Covert Narcissist and Why You Should Write One
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They will blame others for their mistakes
Nothing is ever their fault. They may even lack the capacity to learn from mistakes because in their mind they don’t make mistakes. They will find any way to make sure that in their own minds and in others they are never seen as wrong.
They will shame others for personal gain
Shaming others is not an uncommon tactic for a covert narcissist to get other characters to treat them the way they desire to be treated.
They will often use shaming to make others feel like they owe them something. They use it to have a sense of superiority and to maintain their goal of making every character feel like they owe them something.
Even if they know they are wrong they may pretend to be emotionally hurt to get you to feel bad and thus in their mind the tables have turned in their favor.
Make the other character feel stupid or less intelligent
By making another character think that they are not as smart they can manipulate them more easily. A good example of this type of character interaction is the ape and the donkey in C.S. Lewis The Last Battle.
If the covert narcissist can get you to question yourself and your thoughts even if they know that they are wrong and you are right they win the upper hand against you and then they can get you to serve them once again.
Purposeful neglect and procrastination
The covert narcissist can be crafty at getting what they want. They will use manipulative techniques like neglect. They may purposefully get a person addicted to them and then neglect them to get more and more attention from them. Almost like playing ‘hard to get.’
They will also purposefully procrastinate doing things for the other character to keep them constantly on a leash waiting. Every once in a while they may throw them a bone, but it is only to keep them coming back for more.
Giving to get
They will use gifts and bribes to receive things in return. They don’t normally give out of the goodness of their heart or just out of a feeling of appreciation or love. They keep tabs on people they give to and everything they give.
They give with the idea of receiving. They give with the expectation of ‘you owe me now.’ And if the character does ‘pay up’ then they feel slighted and they might seek revenge.
They may even want other characters to view them as generous, but they are not.
Psychologists’ thoughts on causes
Some experts in the field of psychology hypothesize that these types of feelings and behaviors could be the result of poor parenting. It is thought that parents that make too much of their child’s achievements lead them to believe that they were indeed more special than any of their peers.
The thought then alludes to the fact that if a parent has a warmer approach towards love and affection for the child then the child learns a healthier way to love others too.
(Personally, I don’t believe this since I’ve seen 3 years olds lie out of fear of being caught. No one taught them to think selfishly. They innately chose it of free will in the quick of the moment. But that is neither here nor there.)
But you can use such information as good reasoning for a back story.
“People with covert narcissism may have a parent who displays similar traits, abused them as children or both. Psychologists do not yet understand why some people develop covert NPD rather than overt NPD.”
It will be challenging for others. Their patience will be tested and tried.
Let’s talk about friends and family:
It will be hard for family to enjoy being around this person for extended periods of time. They may appear to be clingy to those that are kind to them.
The introverted narcissist will love the attention and praise the kind person gives them and will come back for more as if it were candy, but instead of giving praise back, they will most likely find ways to make fun of them and point out their flaws as this behavior ultimately makes the covert narcissist feel good about themselves.
If the family member or friend confronts them on their mean behavior they will be offended and think that the friend is treating them badly. This will most likely end with them stomping out of the room quickly as they will not stand for such treatment from a “lower being.”
For people that handle interactions with the narcissist well, it will be in small controlled doses more than likely. For those that do not do well with them, they will most likely avoid them at all costs.
This leaves two scenarios for people to carry out in reaction to the covert narcissist’s behavior. They will either avoid them with haste entirely or be kind to them and chat for a bit but then quickly dismiss themselves.
If the person is truly kind then that will be the end of it, but if they too are just trying to ‘make face’ then they will most likely say hurtful things about the person with NPD behind their back.
This can make for very interesting character dynamics and interactions.
Those who interact with the narcissist may choose to limit the amount of personal information they share with them. This might be in their best interest. The narcissist may use ‘sensitive’ information about them to gain favor and superiority in the eyes of others. Being able to put them down may make the covert narcissist look better to their peers so they think.
There can also be traumatic altercations.
If anyone, friend, or a family member has been abused by the covert narcissist they may choose to stop seeing the person altogether. They may even draw up lawsuits or legal restriction orders that keep them from seeing the person ever.
Consider these types of situations if writing a covert narcissist.
For example,
Let’s say your main character is a brilliant detective, lacks empathy, but always solves the case (thank you, Sherlock). But as we watch our character’s days go by we start to see instances of “friends” and a family from their past. But wait, they can’t see their kids anymore. Why? Because the spouse got a restriction order after they decided to retaliate against a comment the kid made about their funny smell. They like cigarettes but still took the comment personally from the naive adolescent.
So now we have a dynamic character that has a complicated family history that alienates them from those they most likely wish they could be close too. That makes for great potential drama.
Things that you could accuse your typical covert narcissist of:
Financial betrayal between partners or spouses
Verbal abuse
Sexual abuse
Psychological abuse (purposefully, methodically, and secretly looking to tear down their mentality)
Physical abuse
Emotional abuse (trying to get them to feel guilt over things that aren’t true, knowing they aren’t true)
Domestic violence
When writing your covert narcissist keep these typical problems in mind. Use them to write interesting conflicts between characters that will keep your reader interested in the characters and how they develop.
Why should you write a covert narcissist
A covert narcissist’s traits, signs, and behaviors give a lot of material for complicated character relationships and complex character problems.
Covert narcissists don’t have to only be the antagonist. The protagonist can be covertly narcissistic.
This character may have a hard time making and keeping relationships, but the fact that they wrestle with their inner demons of extreme self-love can be very interesting for a reader.
Consider writing about a covert narcissist the next time you are starting a writing prompt.
Feel free to use this resource to give you ideas and inspiration on how to make them come to life on your pages.
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Violent religions come and go with time, but some stick around for centuries.
Some religions are not entirely violent but have certain sects that branch off that are extreme and violent.
Make sure that if you create a violent sect or religion that there be an underlying cause for the violence that “justifies” violence in the eyes of its believers.
To keep it realistic and interesting make sure that it is a cause some are willing to die and kill for.
And at the end of the story make sure your reader knows it’s just fiction.
2. Overbearing governments
Overbearing governments are nothing new or shocking.
They do make a world that is interesting to read about. Follow the struggles of a few in detail and the many in general.
3. Rebellions
Overbearing governments naturally breed constant rebellions and uprisings.
Use these rebellions to make your government sweat or to make your main characters a part of the rebellion.
Or make your main characters a part of the government that is being fought against.
5 Oppressive Settings for World Building
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Imagine book-burning, giant piles of smoking books after a night of crowds and mass fires.
Imagine people hiding books in their houses.
They hide them in their walls, in their floors, in their bookshelves, in their food storage.
What does the government do to those rebels that they find with the banned books?
5. Banning religions
Banning religions and certain sects of religions is nothing new either.
What do they do to those they find practicing this religion? What measures does the government take to find them?
Are your main characters part of the religion or part of the government that bans it?
Who are the “good” people and the “bad” people?
What is right and what is wrong in this world?
Write oppressive settings in your fictional story to keep your reader intrigued and on the edge of their seat while they read into your story. Writing story settings that are in turmoil is a good way to keep your reader interested in what will happen next.
Focus on the natural things that could happen in a world like this so that the consequences are believable to your reader.
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Does your main character cheat or are they with someone that cheats?
Do they know the cheating is going on?
Do they confront the other person or live with it?
Do they have a friend that cheats?
Do they tell their spouse?
Prostitution
Do they prostitute themselves?
Do they know someone that does?
Are they a police officer that deals with prostitution daily?
Does their child get involved with prostitution?
Polygamy
Do they live in a society that practices polygamy?
Are they married to their sister’s husband?
Does their husband choose to marry their sister or cousin as well?
Do they fight because of the polygamy?
Is the polygamy reversed and this culture has the social norm of a wife taking on multiple husbands?
5 Scandalous Settings for World Building
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5 Scandalous Settings for World Building
Arranged Marriage
Does the character have someone they fall in love with that isn’t their arranged suitor?
Do they despise their arrangement?
Do the parents regret the arrangement?
Was the arrangement forced on one or more of the families?
Do they find out about the arrangement the day before they meet their arranged spouse?
Do they find their future spouse to be hideously ugly?
Is their future spouse known for being brutal, harsh, and violent?
Banning interracial marriage
Banning interracial marriage is wrong and racist.
Does your character love someone, not of their perceived race?
Do they marry in secret?
Do they get found out?
Are they in danger?
Are they shunned?
Are they gossiped and rumored about?
What happens to their children in this culture?
Keep your reader’s interested by creating scenarios that are unfavorable for your characters.
If nothing ever goes wrong for them, they don’t have very interesting lives.
Use settings like these to create natural problems they might run into in everyday life.
The more naturally it is, the more depth the fictional story will carry with it naturally.
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